Loving the Unlovable

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:12-13)

I want to tell you a story. It is the story of a relationship. For the purposes of clarity I will say that this is the relationship between a husband and a wife. When they met she was quite a bit younger than he was. They both knew that he had a maturity and wisdom that she lacks but they also knew immediately they were soul mates. Now this man was a man of means. This man had power, status, and money. The whole world was at his disposal. This made him very attractive to her and he was smitten with her and they married. 

He gave her everything she could ever need. There were times that she would ask for things and he would say no. However, he only said no when he knew what she wanted would hurt her. He lavished her with love, gifts, loyalty, faithfulness, and understand. He was always available to her. He was an incredible listener.  He was literally the perfect husband. 

She, on the other hand was not perfect. She had a rough childhood and was still holding onto some issues. Perhaps greatest among these was that she didn’t really know who she was. Identity issues. Low self-esteem. She knew deep in her heart that her husband gave her every good thing and only withheld things that were bad for her. He knew that in the past she had some issues with drugs and his one rule with her. Don't do drugs. That was it. 

Well she would go hang out with her girlfriends and they would say, "Why shouldn't you do drugs? It's your life. Who does he think he is? You can do whatever you want."

She started hearing this and when she kept hearing it, she started believing it. Soon enough she was at the house mad with him and she started doing drugs in the house. A bad habit developed. Now the husband didn't want her on drugs. He loved her. He wanted to give her everything she wanted but he knew this was no good for her. He sent her to rehab. She was heart broken. He begged her to stay in the marriage. He wanted the relationship, but she was mad and she cheated on him in rehab. He took her back. Eventually, She left rehab and started living on the street. 

She started selling her body for drugs. When she hit rock bottom he took her back. She relapsed. Stole everything she could from the house and sold it. Smoked it up and gave the rest to her pimp. When the money was gone she came crawling back. He smiled. Kissed her on the forehead. And told her, "I'm glad your home."

She couldn't understand why he loved her so much. Surely she did not deserve it. She wasn't rich, or famous, she didn't have much education. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman. When she asked him why he loved her all he could say was...."I chose you! You are my wife!"

She continued to cheat on him, lie to him. He kept taking her back. There were good times when she clean but she would go right back to drugs. Right back to the streets. 

What she didn't know is that every time she left he went right behind her. He would follow her, make sure she was safe. Be there for her to intervene a bit. He couldn't be there all the time so he hired a team of detectives and bodyguards to watch her from a distance. 

One night she had fallen back into her drug habit. He asked her to go back to rehab. She cussed him so bad. Told him he didn't care. Told him that he didn't know how to protect her. She told him that deep down she was just an addict and a prostitute. Told him about how the pimp and the streets were better for her. She said that is where she belonged.  Then she STORMED out the house. He followed her right back to that same corner and same drug dealer she always went to. 

Well over the years the husband had been paying her drug debts. And in the past year she had accrued some debts that he was aware off but let go for a while thinking she would stay home this time. But now this drug dealer was after her and he didn't want money. He wanted her dead. See after accruing so much debt her money wouldn't cover the cost anymore. He had a reputation to protect and in that meant she had to die.  

When she returned to the corner that night the dealer saw her, pulled her behind a building saying her was going to get her some drugs. Pulled out a pistol and explained the situation. As he prepared to fire on her, her husband appeared. He had been following her. He ran towards them telling her to run. As he reached for the gun and a shot rang out POW!!! She ran. Not thinking for a second about what might happen to her husband. She only wanted to protect her own life. As she ran away she heard another shot POW!!!

She kept running. She ran all the way back to the house. Later that night she got a call from the police asking her to come downtown. She came. They asked her to identify two bodies. She did. One was her husband, the other was the dealer. She confessed. Told the whole story. But there where no charges to be pressed. She was let go. 

She wept all the way home. Went straight to the shower. She soaked there for more than an hour. Weeping. She got out and went into the bedroom trying to fight back the tears. She wanted to call someone but she had alienated everyone in her life except her faithful husband who had always stood by her. She noticed an envelope on the night stand with her name on it. It was her husband's handwriting. She quickly opened it. 

It read:

My dearest wife. I knew I would lose my life tonight. I was happy to sacrifice my life for yours. You will be well taken care of. Everything you need or can even imagine is left to you in a trust fund. I love you. I forgive you. Nothing you could ever do will ever change that. I forgive you. Please forgive yourself. You saw yourself as an unworthy drug addict and prostitute. But through my eyes you are perfect in every way. All I want is for you to prosper. Remember...You are my wife! I CHOSE YOU!

You see church we are that wife and Jesus is that husband. This story is not a perfect parallel to the Gospel but some of it holds true. We often want relationship with Jesus at times when it convenient and goes great for a bit. But then God doesn't give us the new car or the promotion. Or then God asks us to stop partying or cussing for our own good and we run back to sin. But this is how Jesus loved us. Even though we were unfaithful, untrue, and unruly; even though we had earned death he laid down his life for us, defeated death, and left us an inheritance. Jesus loves us even when we do not love ourselves. Jesus loves us even though we are unlovable. This is a real love. 

Hebrews 7:24-25

There are some things you have to understand to get this:

1. Jesus is a person not a concept. 

2. Jesus is alive not dead.

3. Jesus is involved and active and not uninvolved and passive. He intercedes to get you saved. He is working right here, right now to intercede FOR YOU. TO GET YOU SAVED! TO GET YOU WALKING IN YOUT FULL MEASURE OF FAITH!

If you are here today hearing this message then Jesus loves you. God is your father, HE CHOSE YOU! 

How do we know He loves us? (1 John 3:16a). He laid down his life for you. He gave YOU the greatest gift he could possible give. He is asking us to receive the gift that he is offering, a gift of forgiveness, a gift of life, a gift of love. We do this by believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord. The beauty of it all is that Jesus not only died for our sins but that he rose from the dead so that he might send the inheritance of the Holy Spirit and freedom from the bondage of sin. Remember he is a person not a concept. He is alive not dead. He is active not passive. He works with the Holy Spirit to find a way to bless you. 

If you are saved then you have received the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:11). He is a person living in you.

Why? Once I am saved, what does Jesus want from me? 

Go back to verse 12 on John 15. He asks us this...I once loved you when you were unlovable. I forgave you. Now you take my spirit that is in you and allow it to conform your will to mine. Let my spirit in you love those that seem unlovable. I want you to love the cheater, the thief, the abuser, the fornicator, the drug user, the prostitute, and the drug dealer. You don't want you to love the things they do but I want you to love them.  I want you to love the sick, the imprisoned, the homeless, and the mentally ill. Love them with reckless abandon. Love them like this husband loved his wife. Love them like Jesus loves you. 

How did Jesus love? Back to 1 John 3:16.  Pay attention to this phrase "ought". The King James says, "OUGHT". The NIV says, "OUGHT". The Message translation says, "OUGHT"! The New Living Translation says, "OUGHT!" Ought is translated from the Greek word O-fA-lO. It means to owe, to be indebted to. Jesus purchased our salvation with his life. He purchases our freedom from sin with his life. He purchased our access to the kingdom with his life. Jesus loved us when we were unlovable. We owe it to Jesus to love those we deem as unlovable. Jesus laid down his life to us. We OUGHT to lay down our lives for our brethren.